My Language to Yours

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Carolina Lily's Beginnin'

It was a usual, dreary English mornin' when this light red-hair, blue-green eyes baby girl was born. I've grown to be a misplaced Carolina country gal from the South with a fancy for lilies, and they also represent a place amidst my life's beginnin', as my birth flower.

My father is a tough North Carolina country boy, Air Force retired, known as A.D. My mother, nicknamed "Cannon" by her younger brother all those years ago, was bred from the Florida swamps and is a strong-willed woman.

It's been said many times that, as they placed me in my Daddy's arms, the sun was told to shine that very instant.

I also grew to learn that my whiz of an older sister, "Carlita", chose to have me named 'CarrieLee', though on my birth certificate, it's separated into my first and middle names. The spiritual meanin' that my name represents is "Song of Joy". 

Just as that mishap came to be, the mess-ups inherently have become like the rest of many happenings in my life thus far. In fact, I sit here plagued by the haunts of flashbacks up 'til the present moment, ponderin' for the umpteenth time, "Why'd this happen to me? Why is it always somethin'? Why can't I hear my Song? Where'd my Joy go?". For years I've been lost somewhere within this cocoon holdin' hosts of mysteries unbearable to even search to uncover..the layers corrodin' my spirit. Givin' all of myself away and losin' pieces throughout my life's drudgery has led me to the point of no return, yet I must fight to survive the fates arranged for me, to renew my sense of self and be..just be - more thank okay, and rather Joyous, like a butterfly breakin' out of the darkness to flutter into wherever the wind blows. I will find and follow MY Song.

This outlet has awaited me since the moment I lay my pen down oh so long ago. It's here, once again, that I'll try to express my view of this surroundin' expanse of bustlin' life and times that consume me. I invite you to come along. You don't have to, and may choose not to. I'd appreciate respect throughout my journey, so I ask you to keep any commentary on the positive note - this is just a li'l space I hope to make for freedom towards peace of mind. Perhaps, whatever there is to glean on the way, will somehow be a blessin' to us all. So, come, let's move right along as this Carolina Lily blooms throughout a chrysalis moment.

Please, enjoy this classical song, so conveniently named.

Copyright owned October 13, 2018 by C.L. Chapps

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